Well apparently it's because I'm not very fond of myself, or so I've learned on Oprah today. I'm not a big fan of Oprah. I don't agree with a lot of her views and the way she's handled her influence over others on a lot of topics...... anyway, this isn't about my disapproval or approval of Oprah. Today's Oprah show was about a book called "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth. I identified with so many of the thoughts brought up. They discussed how our disapproval of ourselves comes out in things we say and do. Simple habits, eating, the way we dress.... we torture ourselves because of our weight and equate this with happiness. In other words we defeat ourselves in almost everything we do by just our own feelings about our bodies. Ok, I related it to this. I would love to wear sleeveless shirts/dresses. They are SO comfortable and especially cool for summer. I don't wear them because I'm not comfortable with the size of my arms and the lack of muscle tone. (I have really cruel names for this that I can't bring myself to say here, my closest friends/family have heard it tho) In other words if I were skinny and toned I would have a RIGHT to wear sleeveless things and be comfortable but because I view myself the way I do, I'm not WORTHY of comfort. THIS SO MAKES SENSE!
So okay, I agree that this is a huge breakthrough on how I feel about myself but how do I change it. In my opinion the only way is to lose weight and tone up. Geneen Roth implies in the show that the reverse is actually the key. Change your views about yourself, love yourself and see your self-worth and then the weight loss and changes will come. There is no need for "diets".
I'm not so sure I can see this happening for me, but I can see that there is a lot of truth in this theory. I can see how I am self destructing and how many others are because of the negative feelings we harbor about our bodies. They're talking about how food is a substitute for something, some emotion, we are missing in our lives. Food is "the middle man" and is the drug, not the problem..... being over weight is a symptom of the problem. All this makes perfect sense when you relate it to street drugs or alcohol. Its a symptom, an outward sign, not the actual disease or problem.
A lot to think about, enough to prompt me to read more. I know I need to love myself more. I know I need to have a more positive image of myself. I know I'm worth it......... sometimes easier to type/say than to live.
TTFN
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